Archives for December 2010

For years sociologists and anthropologists have devoted intensive study to that peculiar institution, the family. It has been examined in our society as well as in primitive cultures. The roles of husband and wife, mother and child, child and father have been systematically analyzed. The question is invariably asked, “How important is the family unit to the inward stability of a nation?”

At the beginning of the 1970’s, Time magazine culminated this investigation by running a feature article entitled, “The American Family: Future Uncertain.” After developing its exposition on the demise of the family and the possible resulting negative influences on our culture, the writer devoted space to explaining the concept of the “nuclear family”—a unit containing one set of parents and their offspring.

This was contrasted to the family unit of earlier and less complicated days, the “extended family,” where parents and their children were influenced by relatives who either lived in the same home or nearby. Here grandparents, great-grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, great-uncles, as well as a conglomerate gathering of their friends, lent great varieties of support—psychological, financial and emotional—to each other.

The nuclear family is a product of our mobile society where the average relocation occurs once in every three years. This new familial form is probably here to stay, but it will continue to endure great strain without the benefit of those important traditional supports.

The husband and wife of today are forced to assume the total responsibility for what was once a group effort, and the pressures of these multiple roles are credited by the writer of the article as being partially the source for the high rates of divorce, alcoholism, and use of tranquilizers.

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Karen Mains has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

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Every relationship must undergo periods of evaluation. Is there as much new life between us as there was when we first met? Am I as intrigued by his/her interests? Are we learning from one another? (My foremost requirement of any friendship is that capacity to continue learning from each other.)

If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” then we must ask “Why?” and continue until solutions have been discovered. The most satisfactory unions are those which build, stimulate ideas, introduce me to worlds beyond my experience.

People who share common thought patterns and personality traits offer definite soul-comfort and can lend great reinforcement by their understanding. But people who are different from ourselves can lead us into undreamed-of adventures.

Why is there no welcome in my heart? Is it because of self centeredness? Or resentment? Or because I have been betrayed? Deep work of the Spirit then has to be done. For most of us, however, it is a matter of simply developing new attitudes.

Let us work, then, on the welcome we extend to those with whom we live—not just the greeting given at the end of a long day, but the hospitality shared in the moment-by-moment meshing of lives. Let us demonstrate to one another, “Your ideas are welcome. Your interests are welcome. Your presence is welcome.”

Once we have opened these doors to each other we can begin to think about opening doors to the world outside.

Life Response

1. Check your welcome quotient. Are you glad to see those people with whom you live after a day apart? What is the tone of your usual greeting? Would you be happy if you received this response? If not, how can your manner be altered in order to convey welcome to your household companions?
2. What things would bring freshness to a living relationship that is growing a little stale? List them and then discuss them with your “family.”

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Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen Mains serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This microfinance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Examine your relationships. Is love gone? Then we will pray for love and work to change the attitudes or circumstances which rob our life together of its joy. We will determine through communication, even that type which is painful, to develop welcome in our hearts toward each other.

If the welcome is gone, then we need to ascertain whether we take one another for granted, or if it is because deep-seated feelings of resentment have put down their bitter roots. In both cases honesty and forgiveness are essentials.

Sometimes taking one another for granted occurs simply because we are busy living separate lives. David suddenly realized after 12 years of marriage that we shared few extra interests beyond the common goals which joined us—that of the church and the children. I had stubbed my toe on this truth early, around year one of our union, nagged for a while, prayed next, reconciled the concern to God, actually forgotten about it until David reminded me of it. Our hobbies and out side activities flew in scattered directions with mine winging toward the arts and nature and David’s soaring in a steady course toward the church.

I have accused him of being single-minded. We could foresee the potential difficulties this discrepancy might produce in the years ahead and, perhaps, even in the years present. When you remove children and church, what bonds are left? Were we enjoying one another as much as we might? We chose several common interests—a sport, playing paddleball once a week at the Y; a literary interest, taking a course under a noted college professor on modern myth; a pragmatic occupation, gardening in our neglected back yard; and a purely pleasurable pursuit, studying drama including an annual excursion to Stratford, Ontario, Canada, for the superb Shakespeare Festival.

Our hindsight has more than validated these efforts. Our life together has been greatly enriched. There has even been more confidence in the continued development of our independent pursuits. Since so much is shared, those activities we enjoy alone can only further enhance our life together.

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Award-winning author Karen Mains continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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We do not start living when we get married. Marriage may never come to some. Moreover, it may not be the will of our Master for some lives. We can still establish relationships which nourish us through meaningful prayer, heart-lifting worship, and shared fellowship around our common faith. We can become family. We can duplicate the church within our rooms. We can learn how to minister first to one another, then as a team to the world beyond.

Some of the most effective ministers I know are single. Both professionals and lay single men and women have dramatically influenced me. These are the ones who have set themselves aside almost exclusively to the service of the Lord.

We of Protestant background have scoffed too often at cloistered servants of God—those choosing to be single on the part of charity. Only Heaven will reveal the way the earth has been preserved unto His Coming through the prayers and good works of these fine people. We need to consider singleness as one choice for the purpose of ministry, rather than as a state attained by default.

We need to recognize that singleness is a Scriptural option. One of the most encouraging things for me to see as a pastor’s wife is single people discovering their gifts and using their homes as places of ministry. When this happens I am aware that some barrier to growth has been crossed and a deeper maturation is taking place.

It is impossible to relate how often David and I have been uplifted by the unmarried people in our congregation. Two young women, for example, ministered to us with the gift of laughter. They made a point of celebrating Epiphany with us, each celebration growing more grandiose as the years passed.

It began when they appeared on our porch on Twelfth Night, lantern and fruitcake and tambourine in hand, singing poignant carols. The next year was set aside with historical literary readings, dinner for four, and handmade gifts. Their combined sense of the ridiculous was healing. How often we gaily sat on their floor giggling and hee-hawing at the antics those two could contrive. After so much heavy counseling, it was good for nothing more to be required of us than our humor.

One ingredient singles living together don’t have in common with marrieds—since even the possibility of children, foster or adopted, is open today—is the promise of a lifetime commitment. Yet, many have discovered that even temporal moments can be indelibly lasting when we make our own joyful memories.

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For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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It is important to realize that family is not the prerogative of the married, and love is not exclusive to this relationship. I am adamantly opposed to the old saw that “there are just some people we can’t love.” We can all learn to practice love toward one another. Anything less for the Christian borders on heresy, because it defies the power of God’s Spirit in our lives and flails against the promises of Scripture. Christ’s new commandment is valid for us today. We are to love one another as He loved us, and by this shall the world know that we are His disciples.

Love is action with feeling and feeling with action. There isn’t anyone His Spirit can’t create this combination in my heart toward if I ask Him. I say this after personally struggling to love many unlikely people and after having discovered the amazing resources of God.

A Christian family should become a microcosm of the church. We need to set about to create within our families an atmosphere of devotion. The healthy vital signs—meaningful prayer, heart-lifting worship, shared fellowship around our common faith—should occur in our families as well as in our congregations.

In addition, we must affirm and encourage the development of one another’s gifts. How many husbands are concerned that their wives discover and utilize their gifts of the Holy Spirit and see their part in bringing this about?

One of the major reasons God established the family was for the purpose of the mutual nourishing of our spiritual potential given by the Holy Spirit. Yet, how few of us who live together have struggled to develop this heightened potential within our relationships.

Our homes have no disciplined atmosphere of Christian devotion. The joys of mutual prayer are often neglected. We actually compete for recognition and self-affirmation. We allow the weed of “Me-First” to choke our ground.

Ministry, that miraculous giving to one another of the Spirit of Christ, rarely soothes our battered psyches. We often must go outside our home if we are to find burden-bearers. As partners, we sometimes become draft horses pulling in opposite directions. Our straining influences the world little in terms of redemption. Married people need to come to terms with the many dichotomies which render their marital bonds a bondage. And, many singles will have to overcome the idea that marriage is the only recognizable relationship in the world.

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Karen Mains has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

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“But married people can live together and create a sense of family because they love one another. It’s different for us,” I can hear some unmarrieds exclaim. Yet the media testify to millions of unhappy marriages and prove often enough that a legal marriage ceremony seems almost a guarantee that love will flee. We all need to comprehend that love doesn’t just happen, it is made. When we work at it, then it grows; but it never flourishes in neglect.

David and I have both heard each other declare adamantly that if anything happened to the other we would never marry again, and surrounded by cloudy foresight, we both agree. This declaration is made despite the fact that our marriage has been uncommonly happy and definitely fulfilling. Yet the effort required to make it so has been so incredible we both doubt whether we could justify the time taken from Kingdom work that would be necessary to render another marriage as satisfying.

The Apostle Paul had valid reasons for recommending singleness. Good communication involves hours of work. Understanding is an art which must be fostered. Real empathy takes years to develop. And, love does not spontaneously sustain itself over the living together of days, but must be gardened—hoed, weeded and watered.

I can remember as a young bride those moments of terror when I realized I felt no love in my heart for my husband. It became very real to me at those times how easily love flees. I learned early in marriage that the human heart is a vessel not large enough to sustain love. Kneeling is the proper position for discovering love again. How often I came to my Heavenly Father and pleaded, “Lord, I just don’t feel any love for David. Fill me, please, with your supernatural grace for Him.”

There I found the source that is beyond all human effort, the everlasting, long-suffering love of God. As Psalm 136:1 states in The Living Bible paraphrase:

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his loving kindness continues forever”

Continually, He filled the cup of my young soul. Into this endless well I have learned to dip my bucket, and in the refreshment of its long draughts breathe then a loving atmosphere into our home. As my husband does the same, we are able to establish the miracle of family.

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Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen Mains serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Sadly, few of us create homes for each other. The fact that people can live together under the same roof and maintain hour after hour of chilly silence is a mystery to me. Something inwardly whispers outrage. The fact that even Christians can commit this abomination against communion is despicable.

We must learn to share our lives, to intermingle thoughts and emotions, and to thereby consecrate our tiny dwellings in this large world as a place in which His Presence is pleased to abide. Disunity is a sure sign that He has not been allowed to become a guest within our inner beings, and therefore has no place in our material abodes either.

The world needs models. We must, for its sake if no other, institute hostels of love and of peace. We need to flesh out the trite “there’s a welcome here,” by affirming it in our lives together before we try to extend it to the society at large.

All of our homes—whether those of married people, of single roommates, or of singles and marrieds joining in community—have the same positive potential. Each household has the option of creating family. A marriage license is not a written guarantee that relationships will flourish. Our counseling calendar, as well as the secular statistics, have amply proven that a ceremony and shared bed with resultant offspring do not a family make.

The word “family” holds for me connotations of closely bonded ties, loyalty deeper than understanding, an almost mystical rapprochement, support unto death, unfaltering acceptance, ready encouragement, sustaining and comforting love. I am aware that I expect a great deal from this relationship. And, I know that the life experiences of many have forced them to think of family in completely opposite terms: competition, jealousy, haranguing, lack of acceptance, even bitter hatred.

It is important to understand, therefore, for synoptical reasons, the significance I attach to the term “family.” I truly believe that whenever we gather together under one roof, be it in a dormitory, a community, or a singular dwelling, we have the opportunity of creating family.

Whether this occurs or not is a matter of choice and discipline. We choose whether to make our household relationships rich and rewarding, cherishing and trusting—or the opposite. Our attitude is what determines if that rare miracle of closeness will occur. We all—husband and wife, career girls living together, medical students sharing an apartment—have the opportunity of forming this miraculous unit.

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Award-winning author Karen Mains continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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“wel-come adj. 1. gladly and cordially received: as, a welcome guest. 2. agreeable or gratifying: as, welcome news. 3. freely and willingly permitted or invited (to use): as, you are welcome to (use) my car; also used in a conventional response to thanks (“you’re welcome”) meaning under no obligation for the favor given. n. an act or expression of welcoming: as, a hearty (or cold) welcome. interj. you are welcome: an expression of cordial greeting. v.t. to greet with pleasure and hospitality. 2. to receive or accept with pleasure or satisfaction: as, he always welcomes criticism.”

Webster’s New World Dictionary
of the American Language

I love the story of the elderly woman who was touring several guests through her latest upstairs redecorating project. Upon hearing her husband return home after a day’s work, she excused herself with the words, “Pardon me for a moment while I run downstairs to greet Andrew. I never like him to return home without welcoming him.”

Through decades of marriage now stretched into the autumn of life, through thousands of homecomings, this woman had preserved her spirit of greeting. What a warm relationship had evolved here over the many years!

Perhaps more difficult than developing attitudes of welcome toward our children is keeping a spirit of invitation open toward those adults with whom we live—husbands, roommates, or parents.

Hospitality toward the adults with whom we live is more, of course, than dropping things to rush with a greeting toward the front door. Yet this moment of homecoming is often an accurate thermometer which gauges what we truly feel toward our housemates. In fact, I suspect that the quality of our front-door reception can greatly determine the atmosphere of that afternoon’s and evening’s life together. It wouldn’t hurt us to adopt some of the essence of mythical or classic drama where toga-clad or be-furred men and women lift hands and voices to cry, “Hail! Therastinor, son of Midian, King of Numinor!”

Extreme? Well, yes. But something within must rush to salutation. We need to ask: Is it good to join company again after a day apart? Do we give entrance to our homes and hearts to each other?

My husband has always been pleased when the children rushed, jumped, almost wagged their greetings. The cries can often be heard up and down the block. “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home! Daddy! Daddy!”

Here again we adults need to learn something of childlikeness and extend to one another similar glad greetings. There is sorrow enough in this workaday world. There is grinding a-plenty. Home is the place we should return to with eager spirits, the journey’s end we reach with sighs of contentment.

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For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Share this Article

I can remember the time my back door opened and a grubby boot threatened to descend in ruinous contact with my kitchen floor. (Why the former tenant of the house who filled the place with eight sons would choose white tile for her decorating scheme is beyond me. All I can conclude is she must have been a wonder in courage!) Impatience welled, but an inward voice spoke first. Be careful what you say. Look into those eyes. Don’t you see that Christ has come into your kitchen—“Anyone who takes care of a little child is caring for God who sent me.”

The foot came down on the floor, and I knew at that moment this was going to be a hard discipline, this seeing Christ in those of my immediate family, in those who would leave their telltale marks over my floors and plans and life. A difficult discipline?—yes, but it is a worthy one. If I give to them but a cup of water, Christ counts it as unto Himself. I am not only called to minister to my church or to my world, but I am privileged to serve tho with whom I live. This concept has elevated my role of mother and wife and housemate to one of extreme satisfaction, but it has also made me greatly aware of the daily Presence of Christ who, after all, leaves some telltale marks of His own in our souls.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me,

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

St. Patrick of Ireland

Life Response

Look closely at those with whom you come in contact. Are there ways you can be more Christlike in serving them? Consider these questions:

1. Your own children. Which telltale marks are most annoying? The infant’s diapers? The toddler’s toys? The Little Leaguer’s bats and mitts and balls? The daughter’s whirlwind collection of dolls and miniature garments? The teen’s preference for music?
2. Your children’s friends. Are the phone calls that come during dinner “telltale marks?” What about that certain abrasive personality of one of those friends?
3. Your friend’s children. Have you ever thought, “If you were my child, you would never get away with ____________?” How would Christ treat this child’s behavior and personality?
4. The children in the neighborhood. Do you know their names? Have you ever taken time to talk with them?
5. The children in your church. Do you love them as though they were your own? Do you feel any responsibility to contribute to their growth?
6. The child you have never seen before. What bruises or wounds, marks of another sort, are being inflicted on this soul? One with runny nose, dirty clothes, impertinent personality—what of Christ can you contribute to this one you may never see again?

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Karen Mains has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

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One evening after the late-night company had departed, we climbed the stairs to make our regular bed check. All four beds were empty—even the toddler’s crib! Conducting a household body hunt, we finally located the four soundly asleep beneath the large round table in the living room, hidden by its long cloth. They had crept downstairs and, unseen by any of the guests, crawled behind the benches and curtains to this covert, each trailing a pillow along! There, lulled by laughter and muted tones, they drifted into dreams, still feeling they were a part of the comfort of our circle.

Still deeper effects have been worked in their lives by our hospitality to people in need, I have often been asked how our children have been influenced by the fact that David and I do so much counseling in our home with people in distress and that we have even invited some to live with us for a while. My answer is that the influences seem to be only positive.

It’s nothing to grab a child as he scoots through the hall and send him off for a box of tissues for someone’s tears. They are learning not to be afraid of people’s problems, but are realizing that human suffering is a part of living. They seem not to be surprised upon encountering it. In fact, I think they are better for knowing we can help one another despite the tears.

We are continually complimented (and this is one of the rich payoffs to parenting—other people’s evaluations) on the children’s maturity. I’m sure much of this is due to their being comfortable with adults. But, I think much of it must be attributed to the fact that they are becoming sensitized to others’ suffering.

Teachers often comment that one of the children has a heightened sense of justice, an awareness of what is right, which is coupled with a compassion displayed in the classroom or on the playground. Our children are richer for living in an open home. Hopefully, it will prepare them to face their own griefs in the days ahead and to share in the pains of the world around them.

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Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen Mains serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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