Archives for December 2010

When children live in a hospitable home, they begin to share the telltale marks. Not only do they learn the tools of hospitality—clearing tables, filling water glasses, greeting people at the door, taking coats, finding toys for younger guests—they become familiar with the spirit of hospitality, as well.

Conversation, for example, becomes a natural art. How many times in the middle of some discourse have I felt a little body snuggle into my chair. Subdued is the mouth, but open are, the ears.

Like my mother, I don’t believe in excluding children on the general principle that they are children. I remember with great fondness those tales woven on the looms of my ancestors’ past. I remember the amazing recognition that my father could talk to anyone about anything. And, I remember the joy I felt when adults laughed together.

If the evening is flowing, and the children’s behavior suitable, they are welcome to listen and to learn to participate.

Naturally, there are times when, because of the intimacy of the subject, or because of the late hour, the children are excused. Often they have other pursuits which are more intriguing. Yet it is not unusual to have a child’s arm dangling over the back of my ladder chair, a small head pressing cheek to cheek, a hand squeezing out the nonverbal plea, “It’s all right if we stay, isn’t it?” What better way for children to learn to converse than by observing this lively art.

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Award-winning author Karen Mains continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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As we came upon the verge of the teen years in our home I was tempted to draw these, my children, behind the protection of our several walls to raise my banner of isolationism against this crass society. Yet my head knew it is a sin to close the doors of this fortress with ourselves safely inside. I knew I must swing open those hinges and allow my offspring to forage and explore. I only hoped we had made them feel so welcome in their early years that they would want to hurry home and bring the friends they’ve discovered home, as well.

After resolving to develop more hospitality in this area, we took some of the children’s friends to a church picnic where the afternoon activities included eating and games, as well as a baptismal service in the polluted muck of the Fox River.

(Some of us concluded that if the dirty Jordan cured Naaman of his spots, this water must be performing untold wonders for those being immersed in it!)

Testimonies were given, and many strangers gathered on the banks drawn by their curiosity. Despite the environment, it was a lovely ceremony, due perhaps to the fact that many were new Christians.

Afterward, my oldest child Randy’s friend, whose customary approach to the world is bravado—and who, I suspect, suffers some of the complications of a broken home—announced, “Well, Mrs. Mains. I’ve decided that next year I’m going to be baptized. Now my family’s not a Christian background, but I’m a Christian, and I think I should be baptized.” We will explore, of course, to see how deeply the Spirit is working in this heart, but, oh, how easy it is to open a youth’s eyes to the Kingdom.

Looking into that face framed by shaggy bangs, I prayed,

O Lord, firm my heart in its resolve to be open to these my children’s friends. Don’t let me be frightened by the world’s intents. Help me to keep the hinges open, and the towers strong, and the fires inside warm and bright. By the grace of your Son. Amen.

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For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This microfinance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Thinking back to the teens of my own high school I wondered how many of them could have been stimulated by the shelter of my home. The dinner-table talk was lively. We didn’t think it was any good unless someone disagreed. There was music, lots of laughter, and security. I can recall the sense of urgency with which I hurried home after school. The most exciting and interesting things happened in my own home:

There were phone messages or the accounts of my parents’ activities, and I was always eager to resume my place near the center of them. If only, somehow, I could have shared this wealth with those teens whose heels dragged reluctantly homeward. One of the few regrets I have about growing up was that my parents were both too busy (each had demanding professional positions) to help me extend the circumference of our circle of warmth toward my non-church friends.

Though I continually absorbed stirring challenges to witness, I was nevertheless woefully inadequate and frequently doctored myself with lethal doses of guilt. Witness, to me in those days, consisted of refraining from an endless list of evils, carrying my Bible daily on top of my schoolbooks, grabbing honors in order to be respected, and cramming verbal testimony into conversations whenever the opportunity permitted.

I knew nothing of heartfelt empathy, of sensing despair and loneliness in the lives of my classmates, of giving to them the ministry of Christ and thereby paving the way for valid witness. My own faith was barely a hard nub of a bud near opening.

How often do we as adults expect our children to do in their world what we fail to do in our own? I wonder now how many unloved teens there were in the corridors of that school, how many with the souls of artists who would have flourished in the environments of Christian homes.

Help me, Lord, to remember what little attention it takes to open the eyes of youth to the glories of the world and to the Kingdom which exists.

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Karen Mains has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

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Maturity has often been defined as feeling at home with people of all ages. What better preparation for growing up could I possibly give to these children than that comfortable acceptance of people who are older. This is one of the reasons we particularly cherish the adults who are our children’s friends—they are assisting, through light camaraderie or special-interest projects, in the process of maturation.

Recently the Lord has convicted me that my largest lack in hospitality is toward my own children’s friends. Telltale marks indeed—it was hard to open my cleaned rooms to toy-oriented hands and feet. My own knew they were expected to pick up after themselves. But, this standard was a little harder to impose on the neighbors’ kids.

Coming downstairs one day, arms loaded with soiled sheets and blankets, I nudged my way around two little forms huddled in conference on the treads. Why do children love stairs so much? Excusing myself, we shifted positions a bit, and I balanced my load on its way to the washer in the basement. I had not gone too far when I heard a little voice pipe, “I love to come to your house. Your mother doesn’t yell all the time the way my mother does.”

It gave me pause, and I suddenly realized this little girl had been around frequently. I didn’t know her mother so I hadn’t any way to judge the comment about yelling, but I did sense she had found shelter, a quiet space in a noisy world. You are welcome, child, to my stairway any time.

The second incident occurred during a premarital counseling session. The bridegroom-to-be was an excellent artist with heightened sensitivity. But, while investigating his family background, we realized there seemed to be nothing which would have opened the perceptions of a young child to the beauties of the world around him. In more than one way, he was a miracle of God’s grace.

Intrigued, we prodded more into the past, searching for those relationships which might have unfolded his potential and nurtured his rare talent. An art teacher? A distant relative? He smiled, remembering something good.

“I had a girl friend,” he explained. “And her mother belonged to a Great Books discussion group. She would talk about ideas, literature, things never mentioned in my own home. It was the first time I knew anyone who was interested in what I thought. Someone who expected me to have opinions and ideas. After a while, I think I just dated the girl to be in her home.”

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Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen Mains serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Hospitality toward children is such a Christ-like quality. It is not simply a matter of being open toward our own, difficult as that often is, but it requires that we accept, encourage and want those born of someone else, whether we are married or not, whether we have children of our own or not.

The story of Christ blessing the children is not only for the nursery but for adult Sunday school as well. If He could welcome the interruption of His ministry by wiggling, wonder-struck, bouncing, impertinent humanity, can we dare do less?

Unless we come to know children, how can we deeply understand the meaning of His words, “Except ye become as little children, ye cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Childlikeness is a quality to be cultivated in our maturity—trust, dependency, anticipation, a sense of wonder. We can give much to those small people of our churches, but they can give more to us.

One year’s clean-your-desk-at-school junk included a notebook in which my young daughter and her teacher had written correspondence over a period of several months. I imagine he had established this with his class in order to encourage not only writing skills but communication. Some of the comments are hilarious, others poignant. An interesting item was written on Tuesday, March 2nd:

Melissa: I think adults would be the best. I think it would be the best because we have comany a lot. We also have to go to are aunts house alot. Thats why I say adults would be the best.

Teacher: Why?

Melissa: I said because we have lots of adults over. And all so that we go to are parents friends house alot. It says it right up there. We go to my moms mom house to.

Needless to say, I was left with a warm feeling after reading this. For those of us who have lived through the generation whose rallying cry was once “Don’t trust anyone over 30!” it is good to feel that Melissa truly does think adults would be the best. Her relationships so far with older people have been satisfactory, she is not afraid of the time to come, or of those who people that region of life. Her trust is intact.

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Award-winning author Karen Mains continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Both sets of grandparents lived geographically close to us from many years. My husband, David, and I were grateful for the input and interest they gave to our children. Each family has different activities they enjoy, unique perspectives from which their grandchildren can draw deeply. In addition to this personal wealth, we discovered the bounty of the extended family of our church community. The benefits derived from the attention of other adults toward our children were invaluable.

One time the older children were invited to go fossil hunting in a stone quarry with another family from the church. They returned, knees skinned and baskets filled with archaic treasures pressed in rock, enthusiastic about this new interest That same week a single friend took the smaller boys on a fishing trip, then was talked into setting up his tarpaulin in the back yard for a one-night sleeping tent. Since my husband’s interest in camping runs more to the hotel/motel variety, this was an experience for the children we welcomed.

We continue working diligently to remind ourselves that the church is in reality an extended family and that we all bear responsibility for the nurturing of the children of this body. Singles also benefit from these relationships.

Seeking oneness in Christ in a world that places undue emphasis on coupling can be a hazardous task. But, it is often eased by the eager, loving response of someone else’s children. How often I have heard people express thankfulness for the physical contact. To be able to hug and wrestle and touch, wholesomely and without societal disapproval, is a healing encounter provided by children who will readily exchange “scrunches and smooches.”

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For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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I discovered early that my taciturn eldest child became positively garrulous before bedtime. If it was a ploy to stall the ending of day, it worked because I was so charmed by the rare and satisfactory moments provided by his tactics. Thoughts about God, fears and feelings, happy teasing—all were shared gems to me.

We have, each of us, a “talking place.” How lovely to enter there and find someone we love waiting with a listening ear.

It is frightening how few of us communicate the most important things to our children—the spiritual things. Do my children know when and how my own conversion took place? Or, what I am learning in this daily relationship with my Lord? Or, what portions of Scripture have become meaningful to me? Am I exercising my gifts of the Holy Spirit in ministry in my own home? Am I teaching my children the deeper meaning of friendship, that of being brothers and sisters in Christ?

“Let’s be friends,” I said the other day to that three-year-old. All too soon, the three-year-old was ten; then twenty; then thirty. (I am learning some lessons.) Once we were in a nose-to-nose confrontation—the garbage was moldering in its container. Conflict was in the air, but with those words it began to dissipate. He relaxed his forehead against my own, locked his arms lightly around my neck, and whispered back, “Yes let’s be!”

How often we overlook the needs of our own children, even those of the children of our own churches. Busy with adult conversations, with grown-up preoccupations, we are more concerned that they not run between the pews than about the condition of their impressionable spirits.

Looking back to my home church, I realize it was not the adults that acted as substitute parents during my teen years who impressed me the most. Rather, it was those who stopped to inquire about my thoughts, who praised me for a special accomplishment, who demonstrated some aspect of vital Christianity—those who gave consideration to me when I was a child.

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Karen Mains has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

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If I learn to be a friend to my children, can’t they in turn learn to be a friend to me? I thought back to my own parents. I can’t remember them not conveying total enjoyment of me. There were moments of discipline, but the general tone of our relationship was one of mutual enjoyment.

I recall comments like, “Find something quiet to do,” but only because I am now saying those things to my own children! The words out of the past I most readily hear are, “Please come along with us. We just want to have your company.”

My “childness” was never used as an excuse to dismiss me from adult conversations. When asked about this, my mother usually replies, “You were never a child!” She’s right, be cause she herself bestowed upon me the honor of companionship.

My husband and I worked hard to create this atmosphere of closeness in our own family. We did it with our children. And, we continue to work on this with our grandchildren.

David has established a special tradition of taking one child (now grandchild) to early breakfast alone. Great secrets are shared, marvelous private communications occur at these outings.

We are trying to make the times we do spend as a family unit lovely—filled with laughter and games, wrestling and sharing, growing and becoming. The TV has had to go for many reasons, but one of them was that it cut into the companionship of our family times.

Friends talk with each other. They share intimately on private levels. It is easy for our communication with our children to degenerate to the degree of no more than, “Where are you going; what are you doing?” Efforts have to be made to extend our talks to, “What are you thinking; how do you feel about this?”

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Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen Mains serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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“Let’s be friends,” said a certain three-year-old, intruding his pug nose and snuggling his body under the covers to interrupt my slumber. Opening my eyes to the morning sunlight flooding the bedroom, I thought regretfully of yesterday’s battles. Then, placing a kiss—half on hair and half on cheek—I whispered back, “Yes, let’s be.”

His little plea reinforced the theme of an article written by a psychologist on child rearing which I had recently read. “Be friends with your children,” the expert had advised. “Treat them the same way you would your friends.”

I began to ask myself, “How would I say that to a friend?” and found my attitudes of annoyance mellowing. How often I’ve harangued, “Hang up your coat. Pick up your toys. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, etc., etc.” To a friend I would probably suggest, “There are hooks in the hall. Would you like to hang your coat in there?”

Don’t my children (and husband and parents and roommates) deserve the same special consideration I show to a friend? When a friend walks through that door, my attitude is one of greeting, of welcome. Children, however, are often blasted with, “You didn’t put the peanut butter away after lunch. Wipe your feet. Take your books off the dining room table.” After taking time to temper my commands with kindness, after discovering ways to communicate, as well as feel friendship, I was amazed at the speed with which I was obeyed. The sharp edge of commands began to ease into a sweetly nectared agreement.

Upon honestly examining my attitudes, how often I found myself relieved to be relieved of my children. Now each of us deserves a certain measure of privacy, but there are some parents who seem to hate to be in the same house with their own children. Yet, I love to be with my friends. True, they aren’t always underfoot making strident demands; but if I learn to be a friend to my children, can’t they in turn learn to be a friend to me?

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Award-winning author Karen Mains continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

For decades, Karen and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Likewise, pastors will find special resources to help them prepare effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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Opening the Scripture, I continued my synoptic study of the Gospels. Certain vibrant phrases stood forth. “If, as my representatives, you give even a cup of cold water to a little child, you will surely be rewarded…” and “Anyone who takes care of a little child is caring for God who sent me. Your care for others is the measure of your greatness.”

Shame flooded me. After all, Georgie just wanted a glass of water. I bowed my heart and prayed, “Father, forgive me for caring more for clean floors and tidy schedules than for two little boys.”

Suddenly I remembered a voice from the past—Linda’s as she leaned across the high school lunch table. “Does your mother always sing around the house like that—like I heard her singing when we were talking on the phone yesterday?” When I answered that she did, Linda looked at me and with envy said, “You’re so lucky!”

The world is full of Georgies just wanting a drink of water, and of Lindas, wishing they had mothers who sang in the kitchen. Many of them are our children’s friends. We really have no choice—we who know the One who is the Living Water, this same One who creates new songs in our hearts—we have no choice but to open our homes and our lives to those who may leave their telltale marks.

Why is it always easier to extend the courtesies of hospitality to those outside our immediate families? Husbands, housemates, children, or strangely enough, their friends, often receive short shrift of our kindly attention. This point was brought forcibly home to me by my daughter, who cleverly exclaimed before a roomful of guests, “Mommy, why aren’t you this nice to us when people aren’t here?”

Hospitality like charity, in order to be true, has to begin at home. The Lord has humiliated me enough through the comments of my own children that I have been forced to examine my attitudes toward them. Did it count, all this gracious open-house business, if I acted like a hellion the hour before company arrived?

Wasn’t there something hypocritical about receiving laurels for my church work if my own children’s friends were neglected? Wasn’t there a glaring inconsistency if I really treated my children differently when outsiders were around? Through the years I had come to an understanding of the use of hospitality as a gift of the Holy Spirit for ministry. But was I really ministering to my own?

A woman can’t be perfect in everything, can she? Yet telltale marks had been imprinted on my own heart by the timely reading of the Scripture verse: If you give even a cup of cold water to a little child…anyone who takes care of a little child is caring for God who sent me.

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For decades, Karen Mains and her husband, David, have served God through religious communications—radio, television, and print publication. The are the co-authors of the Kingdom Tales Trilogy: Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. To find many valuable resources for pastors and churches at the Mainstay Ministries main website, please click here.

Karen has long had an interest in Christian hospitality and is the author of the best-selling book, Open Heart, Open Home.

An award-winning author of several other books, Karen continues to write content for her Christian blog, “Thoughts-by-Karen-Mains.” In so doing, she desires to touch the lives of Christian women and men and help them find ways to walk closer with the Lord Jesus Christ. In addition, through silent retreats, spiritual teaching, women’s retreats, Christian vacation opportunities, and other ministry activities, Karen helps each Christian woman and man receive vital spiritual food.

Through her Hungry Souls ministry, Karen serves as a spiritual coach to many Christian women and men, and teaches a mentor-writing class. And, through the Global Bag Project, she is working to develop a network of African women who sew exquisite cloth reusable shopping bags. This micro-finance women opportunity helps provide a much-needed sustainable income for struggling African families. For more information on this critically important project, please click here.

In addition, pastors will find special resources to help them create effective, life-transforming Sunday sermons by visiting David Mains’ website by clicking here.

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